The tears in my eyes wake God up

I sat by a river that moaned in songs 

I sat by the river every morning and danced 

Searched for God in its banks 

And bathe in its streams 

I sat by the river and it told me that it waits for me 

That i am its sun 

That the day does not begin without my footsteps 

That the night doesn't scare it’s sparkles away 

That it closes its eyes and dream about my smile 

About my fingers making ripples in its spine 

It told me “ Black girl you’re the only one that doesn't throw rocks at me 

And ask me to make them dance for you.” 

I sit by the river and I eat fruits from its trees 

I let the juice drip down my chin 

And i wash my face with its waters 

And it drinks and it thanks me with its warm winds 

And i feed it with my smile 

I sit by the river and it told me “Black girl, you’re the only one that doesn’t look in me 

And ask me to make your reflection beautiful.” 

And then I didn’t. 

I sat in my bed and i screamed 

And i cried and i called out every inch of my heart 

I begged it to stop hurting 

To stop pouring out of my mouth

I looked at the fingerprints left on my body 

And the imprints left on my soul 

And i weep 

And no one but the river missed me 

I didn’t visit 

I didn't dance 

The sun didn’t shine for me 

So the river stayed asleep 

I sat by the river and I told it “ You’re the only thing that 

Didnt ask me to bare myself so you could find joy in the scars on my flesh” 

And the river began to scream 

And God asked “ what was the matter” 

And the river asked “ Why does my black girl’s feet not dance on my spine anymore” 

And God checked my body for the damage 

And found none 

And my river begged God to look again 

And God did 

Found evidence of every woman violated 

On the tip of my tongue 

God asked “ why didn’t you say nothing.” 

And I kept my teeth over my tongue 

So i don't begin to name the men 

That were supposed to love me 

And the women that allowed them to beat me up for show 

I didn’t want to name the people i once loved so much 

That i told my river stories about them 

That i danced their initials in the water 

That i kissed the letters of their names in the wind 

I didn’t want to say because i was ashamed 

I was supposed to be sun for my river 

And i was nothing but shadow wearing skin 

That grew too tight around my bones 

My river begins to Moan to God and God began to weep 

And i recognized the song as my own 

I recognized the letters of the names weaved into its melody 

God began to weep and the earth began to storm 

And the ocean joined in song 

And so did the lakes 

And so did the winds 

And so did every single tree on the planet 

They ripped themselves from the ground 

And prepared to drown in solidarity 

And God wept some more 

And I began to sing too 

God wept for 40 days and the planet was swallowed in a sea of tears cried just for me 

The river sang for a few hundred days more.